Alright...its time! I can't take it anymore! Time for me to get off the couch and start exercising. I'm so over my flabby belly and no longer toned arms and legs. Blah! I feel like nothing fits.
I have to say I was completely naive to the fact that my body would not loose its "shape" after Landon. N-A-I-V-E! I've been thin all my life and felt it wouldn't be too hard getting back into shape. BTW ladies who are TTC and have baby angels...I am NOT complaining (ok maybe I am but I wouldn't trade my son for anything at all, not even my old body). Six years ago, I weighed 120 lbs and was dancing (ballet, jazz & tap) 5 days a week. I miss that body I had at 21. Things are just shaped so differently now that I feel like my clothes fit oddly and my underwear is riding up my butt constantly, that my bras don't lift these saggy boobs anymore despite spending (for the first time in my life) $50 on a Victoria secret bra.
So what am I doing about this? I'm getting off my @$$ starting tomorrow and working out. Goal is to do something 5 times a week but if I get 3 I will be really happy.
So what brought this on? I went to a dance recital last night. I miss dance. I have a hard time that I can't use the word "dancer" to define me anymore but I just don't have the time. I miss the end product and the adrenaline rush I get before going on stage.
This appearance issue also seems to play into our sex life. As well as other things. Am I the only one?
I can't even go shopping for Landon without getting depressed that I'm not 21 weeks pregnant. I'm 90% sure this baby was a girl. I was sure with Landon and I was sure with this one. Its just a feeling, weird but I had the same matter of fact feeling when I was dating Mike that he was the one an that some day I would marry him. As I was in Carters its soooooo hard not to look at the baby girl clothes on the other side of the store. They are so stinkin cute! Its just another reminder. For sure the scab is bleeding today.
This summer already seems like the never ending summer because I'm the most inpatient person in the world. We are currently NOT using any protection. I refuse to ever go back on the pill. Yes, I know there are other ways but its a choice I have to make, right? So basically its relying on natural family planning aka NaPro and I have NO freakin clue what is going on this cycle. Which totally effects "getting it on." And honestly sex is just another reminder that we can't, we can't TTC right now despite wanting to. ARRRGGGHHHH!!!
Soooo speaking of my NaPro chart, I will post pic of it soon. This cycle has been ridiculous though! I've had stretchy mucous for 3 weeks, since my period ended. I'm pretty sure I just ovulated the other day thanks to a positive OPK & some right abdominal pain. But this cycle is on like day 27 already. Its just very unusual. I'm almost thinking that my body is changing and trying to get on the same cycle as the girls I work with it. Seriously...I don't know what else it could be. And no, I'm not pg. I had the same thoughts so I took an OPK a few days after my positive OPK and it was negative. For those who don't know the only times you can get a positive on an OPK is when you are either ovulating or pregnant. Here's a nice source to explain further.
That's my mess for today.
I have to say I was completely naive to the fact that my body would not loose its "shape" after Landon. N-A-I-V-E! I've been thin all my life and felt it wouldn't be too hard getting back into shape. BTW ladies who are TTC and have baby angels...I am NOT complaining (ok maybe I am but I wouldn't trade my son for anything at all, not even my old body). Six years ago, I weighed 120 lbs and was dancing (ballet, jazz & tap) 5 days a week. I miss that body I had at 21. Things are just shaped so differently now that I feel like my clothes fit oddly and my underwear is riding up my butt constantly, that my bras don't lift these saggy boobs anymore despite spending (for the first time in my life) $50 on a Victoria secret bra.
So what am I doing about this? I'm getting off my @$$ starting tomorrow and working out. Goal is to do something 5 times a week but if I get 3 I will be really happy.
So what brought this on? I went to a dance recital last night. I miss dance. I have a hard time that I can't use the word "dancer" to define me anymore but I just don't have the time. I miss the end product and the adrenaline rush I get before going on stage.
This appearance issue also seems to play into our sex life. As well as other things. Am I the only one?
I can't even go shopping for Landon without getting depressed that I'm not 21 weeks pregnant. I'm 90% sure this baby was a girl. I was sure with Landon and I was sure with this one. Its just a feeling, weird but I had the same matter of fact feeling when I was dating Mike that he was the one an that some day I would marry him. As I was in Carters its soooooo hard not to look at the baby girl clothes on the other side of the store. They are so stinkin cute! Its just another reminder. For sure the scab is bleeding today.
This summer already seems like the never ending summer because I'm the most inpatient person in the world. We are currently NOT using any protection. I refuse to ever go back on the pill. Yes, I know there are other ways but its a choice I have to make, right? So basically its relying on natural family planning aka NaPro and I have NO freakin clue what is going on this cycle. Which totally effects "getting it on." And honestly sex is just another reminder that we can't, we can't TTC right now despite wanting to. ARRRGGGHHHH!!!
Soooo speaking of my NaPro chart, I will post pic of it soon. This cycle has been ridiculous though! I've had stretchy mucous for 3 weeks, since my period ended. I'm pretty sure I just ovulated the other day thanks to a positive OPK & some right abdominal pain. But this cycle is on like day 27 already. Its just very unusual. I'm almost thinking that my body is changing and trying to get on the same cycle as the girls I work with it. Seriously...I don't know what else it could be. And no, I'm not pg. I had the same thoughts so I took an OPK a few days after my positive OPK and it was negative. For those who don't know the only times you can get a positive on an OPK is when you are either ovulating or pregnant. Here's a nice source to explain further.
That's my mess for today.
No comments:
Post a Comment