This cycle = BUST

I don't want to go into much detail because this pertains more to my husband than to me of why this cycle is a bust. His Low T is making things way more complicated. Unfortnatly I don't think he is doing a damn thing about it which is frustrating me even more!

On a better note, I did my 3 injections this cycle anyways. I was instructed to cut my dose in half because of my hormone levels being so high last cycle. I feel sooooo much better then I did last time around. I have slight symptoms that could be confused w/ pre-menstrual symptoms. This I can handle.

Today is 9 dpo and I had more bloodwork to see where my levels are at so I'm sure I will post soon to let ya'll know where they are at.

More rambles

AF arrived the very next day, 16 dpo. But that's not what I'm here to post about.

I'm here to tell you that I am soooooo sick of doctors who went to medical school and know S-Q-U-A-T!!! I'm so annoyed with the entire education system but that is a whole other subject. I'm tired of doctors slapping band aids (or progesterone or clomid) on patients and saying, "Lets see if this works." They take credit for it if it does work however, they have no interest in finding out why it worked. They don't even think that this could affect a woman's health in other ways. If it doesn't work, they try something else. Doesn't this put a woman more at risk? Why is this acceptable? Why aren't more women concerned? Why does everyone place so much faith and trust in their doctors? I am not saying that there aren't good doctors out there but all the stories I hear, I wonder how many there really are.

I'm so frustrated that NFP (& the Catholic Church) has gotten such a bad wrap that people don't logically look at NaProTechnology and how it works. Most doctors don't even know really what it is and dismiss it immediately. How discouraging! I guess because I am a investigator in nature and methodically examine things that I question how something is going to work. I guess this is what has brought me answers the past few months.

I feel bad for those who are new to RPL and/or multiple losses. I remember nobody listening to me and reassuring me that I was "normal" but they didn't do their jobs to the fullest. They didn't test for what should have been testing for. Instead I had to research the internet and read countless books to put the pieces of the puzzle together.

I do want to share that I am Catholic. However, if this was something that Judaism discovered, I would still be participating in NaPro. I'll be honest, I don't believe in a lot of what the Catholic church does or says. There are things I do agree with and NaPro is one of them. I'm just shocked at how much sense this system makes and I wish everyone going through RPL and/or infertility would seek out a fertility specialist within the NaPro system. I want everyone to get answers that I worked so hard to get as easily as I did (once I found the right doctor).

Stepping off my soap box now.

Barely there

Well, I'm out for this cycle. My line is getting lighter and lighter and taking longer to appear. I just hope AF comes quickly and gets on with it. This way I can move on.

I feel like this is the 5th time I've been tricked. Really. With all my other m/c's I had similiar symptoms and POOF they just disappear as this one did. I'm really glad that my ob is decreasing my dosage so (hopefully) I won't feel as pregnant as I did this time.

POAS, POAS again & repeat!

Sorry, I had better intentions of "documenting" my first round of hcg injections but life got in the way a bit.

Let me see what I can remember...

7 dpo I gave myself another injection...piece of cake.

I promised I would wait until 10 dpo to test but I gave in at 8 dpo at lunch time. Here is what I got...

The second line or the lighter pink line appeared in 20 secs. No surprise that there was a 2nd line but I was surprised how quickly it appeared and how dark it was. So I figured why not do an experiment and test with FMU every day for the next 8 days?

Yes, I enjoy torturing myself.

Who doesn't after TTCAL??? I think it is a sick thing we do but something we cannot help! We just HAVE to know.

9 dpo I repeated the hcg injection and it left a nasty bruise this time. Granted I am on baby asprin so that probably does not help. But before I gave myself my last injection for the cycle I tested again...

I also went in for 9 dpo blood work to check my progesterone & estrogen levels to see how my body was responding to the hcg. When I got there the first question out of my mouth was, "Just how pregnant should I feel?" The two nurses in the lab chuckled to themselves and asked, "Well just how pregnant do you feel?" I said my bb's are killing me & I'm tired (and at that point I felt about 8 weeks pg minus the nausea). Of course they asked if I was experiencing any nausea and I didn't until the.very.next.day.

The following days, 10-12 dpo:

In theory, the test above I shouldn't have any hcg left in my system from shot #1. Notice the line is lighter.

On Friday, Cathy, Dr. Dagg's nurse called me. She said that I was responding very well to the injections. So well that IF I wasn't pregnant this cycle they wanted to decrease my dose to half of what I was giving myself. My progesterone at 9 dpo was 57 and my estrogen was well over 200. Last cycle, without the injections my progesterone at 9 dpo was 5.8 and my estrogen was in the high 60's if I remember correctly.

HUGE DIFFERENCE!! This wasn't even my "peak day" for my hormone levels. That would have been 7 dpo when progesterone & estrogen levels peak. These were actually falling numbers. No wonder I feel pregnant!!!

13 dpo test:

This line to me seems darker than 12 dpo.

Again, in theory shot #1 & #2 should be out of my system. Notice the line again is lighter. However, in ALL fairness. I did NOT take this picture at the same time as I did the others. I woke up at 6 AM & had to pee badly. This line appeared in 15 secs but all the other tests I showered and then took the pictures so they had at least 10-15 minutes to sit before being photographed. This MIGHT, might have been 5 minutes and then I shoved it back into its packaging. I know dumb but I was at a hotel in Morgantown, WV (huge WVU fans) with DH, DS & my FIL (father in law).

I don't have the bb soreness as badly as I did last week but they do feel full and a bit tender still. I've been e-x-h-a-u-s-t-e-d all this week and even have had a bit insomnia which is very weird for me. My salavia production is ridiculous! I'm spitting when I'm talking! How embarassing!?! I haven't felt any CL pain but my stomach has in general felt weird. I'm hungry a lot! I'm not sure about my sense of smell. However, I'm pretty sure thats also increased. DH hasn't commented on it yet. But I walked by the porta-pottys while tailgating and I could barely stomach the smell. Usually I can "deal" with it but I was ready to gag. In general I'm achy and feel blah but that seems to be getting better compared to a few days ago.

And just for fun:

So we shall see what tomorrow brings. But as we all know it will start with peeing on a stick (POAS). ;-)