The Duggar Family

Like many people, I am no fan of the Duggar Family or in their beliefs. They could very easily practice NFP, but they are letting it in God's hands to decide how many children they are to have. I find it incredibly hard to believe that you can care for 19+ kids at one time. It is mind boggling. But I am not here to talk about that; to each their own.

I am going to talk about no matter what your beliefs are no woman deserves to go through any loss, yet a pregnancy loss at 20 weeks. Its heartbreaking and one that will be in her memories to the day she dies.

Its also heartbreaking for those on facebook and else where to judge her and say things, "it serves her right". Until you have been through a pregnancy loss or miscarriage you have no right to comment on her loss. No right! I wouldn't wish a miscarriage or pregnancy loss on my worst enemy. There are no words...

Did it serve her right when she miscarried her second pregnancy? Which by the way led to why they have chosen to let in God's hands to decide how many children they have. Should those of us who have losses just stop trying, is that what God is telling us?

God gives us nothing more than what we can handle. His challenges and our struggles make us stronger and better people. They remind us we have so much to be grateful for and in the end God has a plan for us.

I will be praying for Michelle and The Duggar Family tonight.

New Blog

Here is my new blog, as promised Pregnant After RPL. Its a work in progress and doesn't quite feel as "homey".

Ummm....not what I was expecting!

I decided to POAS today, 16 dpo. I have so many OPKs that I was like WTH? Let's see what happens. Before the control line appeared there was a line at the test line. I totally did a double take.

I ran to the other bathroom to grab a dollar store HPT and that line came up rather dark as well. HOLY SHIT!

Not what I was expecting!! This can't be! I was just complaining that this cycle was a bust and that I was tired of BFP announcements and here goes mine.

I am 4w3d pregnant today and I love my baby.

I called, yes called, DH after I got out of the shower and said something along the lines of, "Hey, you're never gonna believe this! :::pause::: I decided to pee on an opk today because my period has not arrived. :::another pause::: It was positive! I got a HPT out and tested with that and its also positive. :::yet another pause::: I'm pregnant!" Needless to say DH was surprised as well and of course commented on the fact that he has super sperm. :::eye roll:::

DH called my doctor due to the fact that I had jury duty today. Kathy, Dr. Daggs nurse of course sent me for blood work later that afternoon. She warned me that this may still be left over HCG from my injections, which we all were fully aware of. However, if you remember the cycle before I tested out until AF arrived and my line at 15dpo was barely there.

Things however do look promising at 16 dpo my hcg level was 1032 & progesterone was 40. :::SHOCK::: When Kathy called to give me the results she said that these levels were great and Dr. Daggs said that these levels are high enough to support a multiple pregnancy. :::EYES POPPING OUT OF MY HEAD::: However, we would confirm that these levels are rising on Monday (really that long?) and when levels reach between 6-10 thousand I will have my first u/s. She said that she did not want to get my hopes up but that these numbers were excellent.

Now, this is the last time you will hear about Baby #6, unless of course I miscarry. I plan to get a new blog up and running that way those of you who are reading this blog will continue to visit and feel that this is a safe place. I don't plan to stop posting about RPL and miscarriage. I will pass along information as I come about it.

:::HUGS::: to all who need them! And especially to those who find this post difficult to read. I will be praying for you!!!

I'm soooo over....

BFP announcements!

Facebook statuses that relate to being pregnant, again BFP announcements, posting weekly milestones, announcing c-section or induction is scheduled and giving people who want to visit restrictions AND instructions on when they can visit in the maternity ward. (Seriously if this wasn't a public blog I would probably cut & paste this 680 word status because I really just want to tell her to get over herself! Really you couldn't do this in a more private way?)

GO F*** OFF & SUCK IT!

Sorry, I'm going to chalk all this up to PMS. This really hasn't bothered me too much lately but tonight...tonight it is not sitting well.

This cycle = BUST

I don't want to go into much detail because this pertains more to my husband than to me of why this cycle is a bust. His Low T is making things way more complicated. Unfortnatly I don't think he is doing a damn thing about it which is frustrating me even more!

On a better note, I did my 3 injections this cycle anyways. I was instructed to cut my dose in half because of my hormone levels being so high last cycle. I feel sooooo much better then I did last time around. I have slight symptoms that could be confused w/ pre-menstrual symptoms. This I can handle.

Today is 9 dpo and I had more bloodwork to see where my levels are at so I'm sure I will post soon to let ya'll know where they are at.

More rambles

AF arrived the very next day, 16 dpo. But that's not what I'm here to post about.

I'm here to tell you that I am soooooo sick of doctors who went to medical school and know S-Q-U-A-T!!! I'm so annoyed with the entire education system but that is a whole other subject. I'm tired of doctors slapping band aids (or progesterone or clomid) on patients and saying, "Lets see if this works." They take credit for it if it does work however, they have no interest in finding out why it worked. They don't even think that this could affect a woman's health in other ways. If it doesn't work, they try something else. Doesn't this put a woman more at risk? Why is this acceptable? Why aren't more women concerned? Why does everyone place so much faith and trust in their doctors? I am not saying that there aren't good doctors out there but all the stories I hear, I wonder how many there really are.

I'm so frustrated that NFP (& the Catholic Church) has gotten such a bad wrap that people don't logically look at NaProTechnology and how it works. Most doctors don't even know really what it is and dismiss it immediately. How discouraging! I guess because I am a investigator in nature and methodically examine things that I question how something is going to work. I guess this is what has brought me answers the past few months.

I feel bad for those who are new to RPL and/or multiple losses. I remember nobody listening to me and reassuring me that I was "normal" but they didn't do their jobs to the fullest. They didn't test for what should have been testing for. Instead I had to research the internet and read countless books to put the pieces of the puzzle together.

I do want to share that I am Catholic. However, if this was something that Judaism discovered, I would still be participating in NaPro. I'll be honest, I don't believe in a lot of what the Catholic church does or says. There are things I do agree with and NaPro is one of them. I'm just shocked at how much sense this system makes and I wish everyone going through RPL and/or infertility would seek out a fertility specialist within the NaPro system. I want everyone to get answers that I worked so hard to get as easily as I did (once I found the right doctor).

Stepping off my soap box now.

Barely there

Well, I'm out for this cycle. My line is getting lighter and lighter and taking longer to appear. I just hope AF comes quickly and gets on with it. This way I can move on.

I feel like this is the 5th time I've been tricked. Really. With all my other m/c's I had similiar symptoms and POOF they just disappear as this one did. I'm really glad that my ob is decreasing my dosage so (hopefully) I won't feel as pregnant as I did this time.