Sunday, August 21, 2011

In the holding pattern....

I know I haven't wrote a whole lot in the past few weeks. Honestly I feel like banging my head against a freakin brick wall. I'm sooo tired of this holding pattern. Waiting for insurance, waiting  for my ob/gyn appt, waiting till we can start testing, waiting till we can start TTC. Its getting old!

I have my good days and bad days/ My sane days and my not so sane days. I have days where I'm not reminded and days I just want to lay in bed, cry and feel sorry for myself days. It doesn't help working across the hall from an ob/gyn. :-( I see ladies walk in with growing bellies and it makes me sad. It makes me sad because I know thats where I should be. I know I should be 31 weeks pregnant. :-( It just really freakin sucks. I can't believe Oct 23 is 2 months away. Its sad, very, very sad. The other days that I don't see women walking in with growing bellies someone always asks, "so when's your next one?" I mean really what do you say to that. "God willing?!" Or, do you just shrug and say in a casual tone, "I dunno." Its hard.

I feel bad that Landon will be at least 3 when he has a new sibling. Freaking 3 years old. Who would have ever thought? Its not what I planned but then what is now a days? I worry that he will be super jealous. I worry that him and his sibling will be too far apart to get a long. It's not fair!

So tonight I'll leave you with a new discovery about pre-eclampsia! Even if you don't have a child, this is great to read and educate yourself on Pre-E.

Scientists find cause of pre-eclampsia.